The Shit Fairy

Curtain Opens. Two guys and a girl are in a kitchen, dressed in pajamas. Girl is at the table (she is dressed in very masculine pajamas), with a newspaper. One guy is at the table (wearing white briefs and a Mighty Mouse T-shirt) and the other is standing in front of the refrigerator (he is wearing a light blue bathrobe and fuzzy slippers).

TODD: (scratching his ass; opens the fridge and peers in. Takes out a bowl, uncovers it, drops bowl) "Ahhh. What the hell is that?" (Nudges bowl with big toe).

ANNE: (Without taking eyes away from paper) "You're cleaning that up."

TODD: "Cleaning what up? I can't tell what it is.

BO: (dripping cereal on his chest) "Yeah, I saw that shit last week. Just as ugly."

ANNE: "Didn't think to throw it away, did ya Bo?"

BO: "I thought about it. I decided against it. Don't you just hate me?"

TODD: "Me! Look at me. I'm the one who has just been attacked by a bowl of shit. I'm a little upset. Why isn't anyone else upset? This bowl of shit was in our refrigerator... with other food ... that we eat. Oh God, I'm gonna puke. Some of the shit spilled on m foot. Oh P.U."

ANNE: "For Christ's sake Todd. Throw the shit in the trash."

TODD: (spins and points a finger at ANNE) "Ah ha! So it is shit. You sound pretty sure of yourself Anne!"

ANNE: (peering over the top of her glasses) "Oh damn. You found me out. I'm the evil Shit Fairy. I go around shitting in bowls and leave it in refrigerators all across the country. Please don't turn me in. I'm too young to go to jail. I'm also the one behind the beer can explosions. I cleverly open all your beer cans and fart in them. That's why they explode more than anyone else's beer cans. I'm the Devil."

BO: (giggling) "Let's just keep our butts away from the fridge from now on, shall we Satan?"

TODD: "I hate you both."

Todd picks up the bowl, covers it, and puts it back in the refrigerator. Black out.